


Triangle

by Felixtheseungcheoltrash



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Friendship, M/M, One-Sided Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-11
Updated: 2018-08-04
Packaged: 2019-05-04 21:28:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14602077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Felixtheseungcheoltrash/pseuds/Felixtheseungcheoltrash
Summary: His relationship with Minghao was like a triangle. Each of them represented a corner of the shape; the remaining one was formed by their distance.He wanted to eliminate the third angle, to close the gap between him and Minghao. But if he did, the triangle would crumble. And so would everything that they had.Kim Mingyu wished he had known this sooner.A spin-off fromStill wear the scars like in was yesterday





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Proof read by wonderful Sabrina (check out her twt: https://twitter.com/ninetyfived)

“If you do it, you will only be able to hold out until the end of this month. And then you’re a goner.”

Wonwoo closed the book he was reading as the last word left his lips and looked straight into the eyes of the man across him.

The said man was as good as choking on his coffee, gulping so hard that his throat hurt.

Mingyu felt himself shiver lightly under the certainty of Wonwoo’s words. As much as he wanted to protest against the elder man and be as hard headed as possible, he could only shake his head and pout like a child.

“How can you be so sure?”

“Well,” Wonwoo drew out his voice, testing Mingyu’s patience, “I know you, dumbass.”

Mingyu couldn’t argue with that. After all, they had known each other since primary school.

Even so, that reason wasn’t convincing enough.

Wonwoo smirked, knowing what was on Mingyu’s mind, “And though I’m not the one who understands Minghao best, Jun has told me enough about him.”

“Jun sure has a big mouth when he’s drunk,” Mingyu scoffed, directing his frustration towards Junhui while awkwardly adjusting his coffee cup on the coaster. Although, one can easily tell that his words held no spite and there was even a small curve forming on his lips.

“Don’t blame him, the guy has a lot bottled up,” Wonwoo defended his friend nonetheless, causing Mingyu to pout more. “Anyways, my point is that you might want to turn back right now. You’re already at the PSR.”

“Please speak Korean.”

“PSR. Point of Safe Return. The farthest point an aircraft can go and be able to return safely to the departure point with adequate holding, approach-”

“Okay, okay! I got it!” The younger male groaned, launched himself forwards in an attempt to interrupt the elder then tripped in the process and all but slammed his face on the table.

Wonwoo leaned back on his chair, watching Mingyu struggle with a smug grin and raised eyebrows, obviously amused.

“If you pass the PSR, you’re committed to get to the landing point,” he continued when Mingyu had quite gathered himself again, “which in your case, is nonexistent.”

As if he had hit a sore spot, Mingyu immediately deflated.

“I know,” he exhaled. His shoulders slump in the way that it made him look even smaller than Wonwoo. “But I really want to tell him.”

He had a frown on his face that can only be seen at the mention of Minghao. His fingers were intertwined together – something he’d always done when confessing his mistakes ever since he was a child.

He knew that Wonwoo noticed. And more than anyone else, the elder understood how horrible the guilt made him feel.

That was why he couldn’t hide anything from Wonwoo. There was no point in doing it.

“I want to tell him,” Mingyu repeated himself, then snorted. “I wish I were oblivious, so I could pursue him like how I’ve wanted to. It doesn’t matter if he refuses me; I just want to _love_ him.”

The last words were as soft as a murmur.

Mingyu turned his head to a side, staring into nothing.

“You know it’s not true,” Wonwoo sounded closer than before. He probably sat straight up on his seat, maybe even leaned towards Mingyu’s space. “If you start getting closer to Minghao, you will get greedy. You won’t be able to control yourself.”

“No,” The younger abruptly looked back at Wonwoo without meeting his eyes. Shaking his head, he countered, “I will never be like that.”

The following silence tightened Mingyu’s chest, as if Wonwoo was giving him a moment to think about his own words. And if Mingyu had to be honest, he hated how unsure he was of what had just been said.

Finally, he heard Wonwoo’s long sigh, “Mingyu, you’re only saying this because you think Minghao doesn’t know anything.”

The taller man thought his heart had just dropped to the pit of his stomach. He shrunk away from the table, as if the action could protect him from whatever was happening.

Wonwoo didn’t push him. He was still calm and composed as ever, but Mingyu could hear the sternness lacing underneath his voice like a warning call.

“You think that you’re so discreet with your feelings? That Minghao doesn’t notice the way you look at him, the way you’re basically wrapped around his fingers?”

“…”

“Gyu, what was the reason Minghao left his previous fuck buddies?”

“Sex partners.” Mingyu corrected, knowing Minghao didn’t like the term “fuck buddy” since it was too crude. “Because he found out that they liked him romantically.”

Wonwoo hummed in response, didn’t say anything further. Mingyu didn’t need him to, anyway; he already understood what the elder implied.

Minghao was an expert in detecting people’s feelings towards him, especially romantic ones. He had been doing this for years on his own account, being fully aware that how much trouble is caused if he let things go too far.

If Mingyu hadn’t known better, he would have thought Minghao cared about those people’s emotional well-being. But the fact was, his best friend simply hated feeling burdened by the affection he couldn’t reciprocate.

Minghao was always like that, wanted everything to be clear and equal, including feelings. Mingyu loved that about him, even though it was the reason why the taller was in such a dilemma.

All of a sudden, Wonwoo’s phone rang, causing Mingyu to snap out of his trance of thoughts.

The younger man stayed silent as he watched Wonwoo answer the phone, then stand up right after the call ended. He didn’t say a word when the elder told him he had to go pick up Soonyoung immediately, only nodded in reply.

He could feel Wonwoo’s eyes boring into him for another moment, before hearing something that made his head lift.

“The end of this month. At most. Think about it, Gyu.”

And as Mingyu felt a breeze of air after Wonwoo passed by him in hurry, he had wished that his friend could have directly tell him what to do instead of leaving options for him to choose.

But that was Wonwoo’s ways of giving advice, so that no one could blame him for anything.

_Overcautious bastard._

Mingyu mumbled to himself as he gathered his phone and keys on the coffee table to go home.

 

.

 

“Where the hell have you been?” Minghao’s shout greeted him right at the doorstep. 

“It’s only one week until our grand opening and you just went and disappeared on me for _hours_ like that?”

Mingyu took off his shoes and took a good look at the angry man in front of him.

Minghao’s hair is disheveled, but not in a trendy way he always spent nearly an hour doing. The clothes on him could hardly be seen as put together, considering how big of a fashionista Minghao claimed himself to be. His dark circles were probably bigger than his eyes, and there was a huge frown between his brows.

Mingyu cursed himself for wanting to kiss that frown away.

“I left you a note on the kitchen island,” Mingyu smiled apologetically. He walked straight there, picked up the piece of paper and waved it at Minghao.

The Chinese was _almost_ taken aback. His face relaxed for just a second and then he scowled again.

“Right, which I was too busy dealing with the PR account executive to read,” He huffed while moving closer to face Mingyu over the kitchen island. “That jerk keeps cutting down on the number of guests.”

Mingyu handed the smaller man a glass of water then spoke gently. “I thought we’ve decided not to invite too many guests. Just the important ones?”

“Well yeah, but…”

He watched the anger on Minghao’s face gradually being replaced by exhaustion and uncertainty.

The glass of water in Minghao’s hand was put down on the marble surface with a soft thud. His mouth slightly gaped from his unfinished sentence, and his normally sharp eyes were covered with a layer of haze.

In that moment, Mingyu just couldn't help himself.

The tanned male reached out to curl his one hand at Minghao’s nape, using his thumb to repeatedly draw invisible circles on the skin below his best friend’s hair line.

He leaned forward and at the same time pulled the other male in until the fringe of their hair touched. “You’ve been thinking too much. Relax, let me deal with this.”

Mingyu knew that they were close enough for Minghao to feel the former’s breath on his lips. And he sure didn’t missed the way the plump flesh quivered ever so lightly.

The taller spared a quick glance at Minghao’s hand that was still holding the glass only to find all the fingertips had already went white because of the pressure.

He deliberated for a brief second, and then took a deep inhale, letting go of Minghao’s neck simultaneously.

“How about I go talk to the PR account and then make lunch as a peace offering?” He walked around the kitchen island and Minghao, heading towards their shared office room. “You go take a hot bath, put on some music, bring some wine with you maybe? The only thing you have to think about is what you want to eat, okay?”

He didn’t dare to turn around and look at Minghao in the face, afraid that even the biggest smile he could muster wouldn’t be convincing enough.

As soon as Mingyu got into the room, he slammed the door shut. All of the liveliness melted off his body into some sludge sticking at his feet.

He felt mucky, disgusted, grossed out.

Minghao is probably the only person in this world that he knew to have no sense of physical intimacy. He never flinched away from Mingyu when the elder got touchy feely once in a while, as long as it didn’t mean anything further than just friends messing around.

That was, of course, before Mingyu went and fucked this whole thing up.

The tall man leaned against one of the two tables in the room, planted his shaky hand on its surface for support.

Mingyu found the air coming out of him in short, ragged breaths.

He closed his eyes in an attempt to calm down. But once he did, his brain was instantly flooded with the image of Minghao going rigid under his touch, the feeling of his best friend tensing up like he wanted to bolt right then and there.

Mingyu didn’t realize how long he’d been standing motionlessly, deeply lost in his own world, until he heard a few knocks and then the door swung open.

“Already know what to have for lunch?” Mingyu raised his voice, sneakily brought a hand to wipe the space underneath his eyes even though there was nothing on his face to wipe off.

He still had his back facing the door, couldn’t bring himself to look back just yet. Not when Minghao’s soft voice was wrecking his insides and made him gasp for air.

“Mingyu, we need to talk.”

“I haven’t called the PR account executive, but I’m on it.” The Korean found himself talking so fast that he might as well bite on his own tongue. “I’ll make sure all the invitations are sent out by this afternoon.”

“Do you have feelings for me?”

Mingyu’s whole body stilled at the question. The fact that it wasn’t unexpected didn’t make it any less painful.

He finally turned around and faced the smaller male. 

Minghao obviously had taken a bath just like what Mingyu had told him to. His soft brown hair was dripping water onto the skin revealed under his bathrobe.

Mingyu laughed dryly, looking down at his feet. Minghao was so beautiful that it made his eyes sting.

“So you do know,” Mingyu silently swore at himself as he let out a sniff. _Fucking pathetic_. “I’m really bad at hiding it, huh?”

Minghao didn’t answer, but his stare alone was enough to make Mingyu feel extremely exposed and vulnerable. Even the translucent sunlight filtering through their French window felt like a thousand needles prickling on the skin where it touched.

“Since when have you found out?” The corner of his mouth strained from keeping a wry smile, and words slowly turned into incoherent babbles. “I’m such an idiot. I didn’t want to burden you I swear–”

Minghao stepped towards him until they the tips of their toes were only a layer of air apart.

The sudden movement made the rambling man hiccup, all words caught up in his throat to form a deafening silence.

Mingyu watched the Chinese’s hand clench and unclench in a moment of hesitation before placing tentatively on both side of his face.

“Hey, it’s okay.” He heard Minghao reassure him softly but firmly. His fingers subconsciously went up and found purchase on the back of the younger’s hands.

Taking a lung full of the fresh smell of soap and shampoo from Minghao’s body, he whispered into the palm pressing on his cheek.

“I love you, Hao.”

“I love you. But not in that way.” Minghao replied him with no hesitation, because those words are true. It wasn’t an empty compensation or an act out of charity.

“I know, I know.” Mingyu sighed. “I won’t force my feelings on you. Don’t worry.” He was littering kisses from Minghao’s palm down to his bony wrist.

He knew Minghao didn’t bother.

So they stayed like that, hands pressing against each other’s skin. They both kept their breathing as quietly as they could, afraid that this fragile atmosphere might be broken.

Mingyu could tell that Minghao was no less nervous than he was. The whole situation was probably the most unwanted thing that could have ever happened between the two of them.

Minghao had his boundaries and Mingyu had always respected that. But it didn’t help with the desire scorching Mingyu’s heart at every thought of his best friend.

His eyes flicked from Minghao’s pointed ears, to his delicate chin and then to the graceful curve connecting his neck and his shoulders.

The tall man was engulfed in the sight of Minghao, intoxicated by his scents and completely entranced by the sound of his soft breathing.

He was feeling so full. Full of Minghao’s existence.

And it shouldn’t make any sense because at the same time, it felt like his insides was being gnawed to nothing.

 

“Let me be your sex partner.”

 

It wasn’t until Minghao’s hands pulled back that Mingyu was aware of what he had just blurted out. 

Immediately, every muscle fiber was strung up to the point that his body started to tremble. His breath became uneven and he didn’t know what to do other than biting on his own lips harshly.

Minghao was staring at him with wide eyes, clearly startled. But soon enough, the shocked look on his face turned into a forced smile.

“I know it’s just a slip of the tongue. I’ll pretend I didn’t hear anything.”

With that, the Chinese took one step back, retreating from Mingyu’s personal space.

The loss of Minghao’s heat suddenly flipped a switch inside Mingyu. And before the latter even knew, his body had utterly gotten out of his control. Despite a voice at the back of his voice telling him to stop, Mingyu found himself reach out and pull the other man back by the hips.

“Please. I’m serious.” He begged, surprised by how easily the beg rolled off his tongue.

“This is not funny, Gyu.” The slender male let out a dry laugh that was very close to a sob. His hands scrambled to push Mingyu’s off him.

The taller let go Minghao’s hips to cup his face, and that was when he realized he had never _ever_ seen Minghao this wretched. His face contorted as if he was bracing himself for an invisible force to hit, and his eyes were pleading to Mingyu with fear.

 _This wasn't right_ , Mingyu thought.

He should have been the only one who was desperate, the only one who implored.

Truth was, Minghao was stronger than him. Maybe not in physical build, but Minghao was quick on his feet, knew exactly how to use his muscle strength and could easily overpower Mingyu’s clumsy ass in a heartbeat. Therefore, it should worry the elder to see Minghao at the moment reacting as weakly as a helpless child.

Yet, Mingyu was now too far gone to turn back.

“Listen, Hao,” He shook Minghao gently, ignored the long and calloused fingers wrapping tightly around his wrists. “You don’t have to love me back. You don’t have to care about my feelings either, okay? Just let me be with you.”

“You _are_ with me.” Minghao whimpered with utmost desperation. He looked like he was on the verge of crying. “Don’t complicate things for us, Mingyu. You know how this ends.”

To be honest, Mingyu didn’t.

Although he heard about it, witnessed the aftermath even, he couldn’t _know_ how it actually happened.

But what Minghao had said just prompted an idea inside Mingyu’s head. And he was mad at himself for not thinking of this sooner.

After all, he was confident that he knew his best friend better than anyone else.

“This won’t end. I won’t leave you,” He said carefully, slowly, making sure Minghao was able to catch every syllable.

And just like a spell, those words put the fighting man at ease in an instant.

Minghao looked nonplussed, like he didn’t believe in his own ears. His body had already gone limp, making it easy for Mingyu to pull it into his broad chest.

“I understand you can’t love me the way I want,” One hand caressing Minghao’s damp hair, Mingyu spoke with his heart heavy and his head light. “Trust me, I know my place and I would never ask for anything that might bother you. ”

He pushed Minghao away a little so they could look directly at each other.

“But I want to have whatever you can give, Hao. All of it.”

When he saw Minghao’s eyes lose all the fight there was left, he knew he wasn’t far from getting what he wanted.

The anticipation washing over Mingyu’s mind like a storm, not allowing him to think about anything else but Minghao, Minghao, _Minghao_.

That moment, the poor man had missed a glimpse of what his own reflection looked like in those brown orbs staring back at him.

Distressed. Burned out.

He didn’t know, so he kept on going. 

The next sentence almost came out like a slur. Mingyu was drunk on the feeling of having Minghao’s skin underneath his palms for so long.

“Please, let me?”

Minghao’s reply took forever, and was nothing more than just a small nod. Still, that was all Mingyu needed to lean forward and seal their lips together in a kiss.

The taller man managed the last words before the bathrobe fell to the ground and he finally melted into Minghao’s warmth

 

 

_“I will never leave you. I promise.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm back from the hell hole of the mini-thesis and countless group projects :)))) I know I should be working on [Still wear the scars like in was yesterday](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10524210/chapters/23231550) but I have plotted this Gyuhao fic long enough so if i didn't start writing it, i would be exploded lol :))))) 
> 
> This is a spin off from SWTSLIWY so Gyuhao's story line will be very much related to Jihancheol's one (but you can still read them seperately) :))) Hope you enjoy the first chapter, comments are really appreciated :)))


	2. Chapter 2

Mingyu was born a clumsy kid. When he was younger, he had always come home from the playground with bruises and cuts in all different shapes and sizes.

His mom was a kind-eyed woman whose smile could heal. She told him time and time again to be careful, because when he grew up, there would be a type of wound that was invisible but might hurt more than any other could.

Mingyu had never worried so much about it. He was curious about the world and not afraid of any wound he could possibly get.

But after his mom left, no one was there to warn him that a brave heart was always the most vulnerable one.

 

.

 

Mingyu woke up in Minghao’s bed. The sheets next to him had already lost its warmth.

Normally, he would go back to his own room after they had sex. Minghao had stated very clearly that he preferred to sleep alone. But last night, Mingyu pretended to fall asleep the moment his back hit the mattress next to Minghao.

He did this totally on a whim, and even with his eyes closed, he could still feel the way his best friend’s gaze bore into him. His body started to stiffen up, and he wasn’t sure if his sweat was solely from the long round of sex they just had.

To his surprise, Minghao didn’t say anything. The younger rolled over to the side, back facing Mingyu. A few moments later, his even breathing was the only thing that could be heard in the room.

Mingyu’s restricted heart finally fell down from his throat. He allowed himself to breathe and enjoy this make-believe intimacy before falling asleep for real this time.

The tanned male groaned at the recall of what happened last night as he was staring up at the ceiling of Minghao’s room with an arm placed across his forehead.

Despite the distinctive Scandinavian glam in every other part of their shared apartment, Minghao persisted in keeping his bedroom plain, white, and minimal. Some of their friends had told the Chinese male that his room looked like it could freeze any living thing to death, or drive anyone crazy if they stayed long enough.

Mingyu didn’t agree. However, there were times like this when he felt as if this achromatic space was threatening to swallow him whole.

He rubbed his eyes while sitting up and tried to pull on his boxers. Making the bed as quickly as he could, the man gathered his clothes on the floor to leave before Minghao come back from wherever he was.

Mingyu didn’t know why he was acting like an asshole running away from a one-night stand. It had been five days since their arrangement and this was definitely not the first sexual encounter they’d had together. Yet, he couldn’t shake off the guilt and shame clinging onto his back and weighing on his mind.

The faint creak scraped his eardrums as he opened the door just wide enough to squeeze his body through, hoping Minghao wouldn’t catch him in the act.

“Mingyu?”

The tall man froze upon a voice ringing through the hallway.

Mingyu slowly closed his eyes, cursing non-stop at the universe because if there was anyone other than Minghao that he wanted to avoid in this state, it was Boo Seungkwan.

“Hi, Boo.” He turned around, not bothered to cover his bare torso, knowing awfully well that it would only look more suspicious if he did. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m taking Minghao to my shop to check on the flowers I’ve prepared for your grand opening.” Seungkwan gave him an once-over and a raised eyebrow, and Mingyu felt like he was the unwelcomed one in his own house.

The taller did nothing but gulped. There were certain reasons that Mingyu was afraid of being caught by Seungkwan and nobody else in their group of friends.

All of a sudden, Minghao appeared behind the youngest male with a scowl on his face and a glass of water in his hand (which probably was for Seungkwan). “I told you to stay in the living room.”

“Is this why you insisted for me to wait in my car, Minghao?”

The moment Mingyu heard a scoff from Seungkwan, he knew he was a dead man. Boo Seungkwan’s number one talent, aside from creating art with flowers, was sniffing on other people’s secrets.

“I’m hurt that you guys finally decided to realize your followers’ fantasy but told me nothing about it. I’m your supporter since day one,” Seungkwan huffed since he got no response from either of the two. He was wearing a Cheshire cat smile and Mingyu couldn’t help himself from shivering.

“So, when and how did you guys get together?” Seungkwan asked, aiming directly at Minghao with a squint.

Mingyu wanted to scream. He wasn’t ready for their relationship, or whatever this was, to be confronted in any way. His blood run cold as he watched his best friend opened his mouth to answer.

“We… It’s not-” Minghao stuttered. For a split second, his eyes came up to lock with Mingyu’s, and then his eyebrows knitted together just as quickly.

Mingyu didn’t even know what kind of expression his face was showing. The only thing he was aware of was that he had never felt so small, even smaller than the day when he begged to be Minghao’s sex partner.

The thought of other people knowing about the arrangement between them somehow made Mingyu feel humiliated. He didn’t wish to have all of their friends goggle at him once they’ve been explained to about why Minghao had never, ever, dated anyone. And he sure as hell would like to avoid questions as for how desperate he was to get himself in this situation.

He knew that what he wanted would be a huge burden on Minghao, and he was a coward for wanting it in the first place. But his pride and heart couldn’t take any more strikes right now. Not from the person he loved the most.

He caught the way Minghao’s lips tremble then thin into one line. Minghao’s gaze finally fleeted away from his before meeting Seungkwan’s and Mingyu had to clutch on the clothes he was holding to make sure his body didn’t shake.

“Why do I have to tell you, Kwanie? You wanna hear about how we fucked last night too?” The Chinese shoved at Seungkwan’s chest, with a smirk that was somewhere between embarrassed and cheeky.

If it hadn’t been for the lack of blush in Minghao’s ears, Mingyu couldn’t have told that it was all an act. Nonetheless, the over-excited Seungkwan had already bought it as an admission of the couple’s love affair. He screeched from the top of his lungs then pulled out his phone and started typing like mad.

Reason number two why Boo Seungkwan was dangerous: What he knew, everybody knew.

“Okay, now go to the living room and wait while I go change,” Minghao said to the younger man with a loud exhale, to which Seungkwan only nodded mindlessly, eyes glued to the phone screen.

Mingyu still stood at the end of the hallway, watching Minghao turn on his feet and walk slowly to the room that Mingyu just got out of. It was the sound of Minghao’s door closing that woke him from his trance.

He wanted to go back to his room and forget about the whole thing. But there was something tugging at his heart when he thought back to the resolve showing on his best friend’s face a moment ago.

Hands on the door knob of his own room, Mingyu let his head hang in defeat and clicked his tongue before going to the opposite door.

Minghao had his shirt taken off when Mingyu entered. Closing the door behind him, the taller male darted his eyes away from the two dimples on Minghao’s lower back and cleared his throat.

“Thank you for earlier,” He spoke, voice small, barely passed as a murmur. But Minghao caught it and looked at him over his shoulder after throwing a new shirt on.

“It’s nothing,” The Chinese replied, glancing down to tuck the front of his shirt into his jeans.

Mingyu fidgeted. His body lurched forward yet awkwardly stopped midway like he just bumped into an invisible wall.

“No,” He countered. “You didn’t have to lie for me. You could have told Seungkwan the truth that you and I are just sex p-”

“Stop it. You’re making that face again,” Minghao turned around and interrupted him. His tone was firm but laced with helplessness that Mingyu couldn’t quite figure out why.

“What face?” He asked back dumbly. Minghao just shook his head and didn’t answer.

“What’s done is done,” The smaller looked up at him, his expression softened as Mingyu was still blinking confusedly. “Don’t overthink. It doesn’t suit you.”

Mingyu stared at his best friend until realization settled at the bottom of his stomach, pulling him down like he had a ton of rocks chained to his ankles. Minghao was giving him too much, he was afraid that he would take it for granted.

“I’m not, Gyu. And I trust you,” Minghao smiled sadly, and his eyes glimmered as they were blinking up at the elder. Mingyu felt his lungs flare up at the sight so much that he didn’t recognize himself just blabbering his thoughts out loud.

He shifted his gaze to the ceiling, hoping it would ease the burn in the corner of his eyes. He followed the sound of Minghao’s feet padding on the floor and before he even knew, he was standing behind Minghao in front of the mirror, holding his friend’s favorite pair of earrings.

Minghao was unfazed by the way Mingyu’s larger body towering over his. Instead, he looked relaxed even when Mingyu put the pieces of jewelry on him.

Mingyu’s fingers were gentle and careful. The elder male let the pad of his thumb trace the shell of Minghao’s ear, not willing to let go.

“Can I kiss you?” He asked, out of the blue, then looked into the mirror only to catch Minghao’s reflection frowning back at him.

Mingyu swallowed the lump in his throat. They had never kissed outside of sex, and Mingyu thought he might understand why.

Sleeping with Minghao allowed him to discover more things about his best friend that he had never known before. And Mingyu could see why those who had been Minghao’s sex partners fell for him so easily.

Xu Minghao was passionate in bed and deliberate with his actions. He never avoided kissing, cuddling, or other kinds of affectionate gestures but looked at them as necessary ingredients of a great sexual encounter for all parties included.

This was also because Minghao had no sense of physical intimacy. Thus, whatever his partner did to him, he could reciprocate as if it was just giving each other a glass of water.

Outside of the bedroom, however, Mingyu noticed that Minghao was more mindful of what he did to the other person. Perhaps, Minghao remembered that unlike him, most people did link intimate gestures with romantic feelings and he would like to be saved from any misunderstanding could occur.

And so, Mingyu knew exactly what to say to sooth Minghao’s worries. He placed his hands on the latter’s shoulders reassuringly, and whispered with the most casual tone he could manage.

“It’s just a kiss. Doesn’t mean anything.”

He then caught Minghao’s brown orbs searching his face in the mirror for the sincerity of his statements. Mingyu pouted, looking upset, but more about the way the next words left his mouth than about the fact that Minghao was questioning him.

“You said you trusted me.”

“I’m sorry. I just-” Minghao spluttered apologetically, one of his hands flew up to squeeze at Mingyu’s. “You can, um, kiss me.”

The Chinese then turned his head to a side, tilting his chin up, offering. Mingyu took his chance and leaned down and forward, captured Minghao’s lips with his own. Even if he noticed the way Minghao’s eyes casting down warily, he didn’t let it stop him.

The kiss was slow and soft, the kind that made Mingyu’s guts twist in a sweet pain rather than setting his skin on fire and leaving his mind empty.

He nipped gently on Minghao’s lower lip then wiped his tongue across the flesh where his teeth were on. He smiled into the kiss as the smaller male sucked in a deep breath and let his jaw go lax before sucking Mingyu’s tongue back into his mouth.

Mingyu didn’t need to be told to know that Minghao liked kissing as much as he enjoyed sex. It was never about the person he was with; it was about the heady feeling, the lack of air, and the fact that whatever was happening around him got reduced to only one wet, sloppy sensation.

Hence, Mingyu told himself that this was to indulge Minghao and not for him to fill the space within himself with the illusion of what he couldn’t have.

A sudden loud knock on the door caused them to jolt away from each other, followed by Seungkwan’s obnoxious squeal, “You guys better not be fucking in there!”

Mingyu chuckled as Minghao rolled his eyes then stomped towards the entrance. He pulled the door open harshly, and was met with an annoying grin stretching Seungkwan’s face.

“Keep it in your pants, will ya? We have places to be,” The youngest man of the three winked at Minghao, then ran as soon as he saw the Chinese male raise his fist, “Bye, Mingyu.”

Seungkwan’s laugh echoed in the empty hallway of the couple’s apartment until the young man had let himself out and it could no longer be heard.

Mingyu tilted his head while watching Minghao sigh softly and then turn back to look at him with a small smile. His lips curled lightly at the corner and those long, sharp eyes were filled with trust and fondness.

The elder’s heart clenched as he realized Minghao hadn’t smiled at him like this ever since the day they first slept together.

“Gotta go now,” He snapped back to reality upon his best friend’s voice. Minghao grabbed a blue pair of glasses that had the same shade with his jeans; let them hang loosely on the tip of his nose before bringing his hand up in a half-hearted wave, “You should sleep some more. You’ve worked your ass off yesterday.”

There it was again, the gentle beam on Minghao’s face. As cliché as it sounded, Mingyu wished the time would stop right at the moment, so he could have Minghao like this forever, looking at him as if he were the only person in the entire world.

Mingyu cleared his throat and nodded, hiding the faint blush on his tanned complexion, “See you at home?”

“See you at home.”

Door closed. And Mingyu was alone once more in Minghao’s room.

He still felt like these white walls were about to swallow him, but instead of leaving, he let his body slide down the wooden surface of the entrance. Searching for his phone in the pile of clothes next to him, he dialed a number in haste.

Mingyu brought his knees to his chest, and when the person on the other end finally picked up, he buried his face down, shoulders trembling.

“Wonwoo?”

[...]

“I think I fucked up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a long time but i managed to finish a new chapter. Writing in Mingyu's perspective is a bit harder than I thought bc personality-wise i'm more like Minghao but it was fun to write from someone's POV that is totally different from mine. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading :))) Thoughts and comments are really appreciated <3


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